// this blog//

So I don’t update this thing. I created some other tumblr sites that I update more often than this one. And here’s one that I should really revive one of these days.

But this one? I just use this to follow people on my dashboard.

After some inner soul-searching, I have come to the conclusion that I like T.I.

There’s this:

this:

and this:

Damn you Clifford Harris.

// u.s.a. vs. the uk//

US songstress Erykah Badu and her boyfriend liveblogged the birth of their daughter via Twitter.

UK comic Stephen Fry Twittered being stuck in an elevator for a few hours.

Therefore, UK:1, US:0

// yes, you can share too much information with strangers//

Last night (technically, very early this morning), I attended a concert by a Portland, OR rock group known as The Thermals.

Prior to the band taking the stage, I went to the restroom to do my business and as I was washing my hands, a woman declared that she wore a sports bra especially for the show so she could dance and not worry about her breasts bouncing around.

This was not information I wanted or needed to know.

However, I just realized that if a man by the name of Michel Gondry, whom I spotted earlier in the evening shared something as personal as this, I wouldn’t have minded so much. In fact, I would have found it endearing and would have wanted to befriend him more than I do now.

// He’s right, I love his nuts.//

By now, you must know of Vince from ShamWow.

If not, keep reading about Vince Offer.

Vince, is somewhat of a tragic character. You see, he is a former Scientologist who was essentially ridiculed and ex-communicated for making a dumb movie. A movie that was so bad that it went straight to DVD and was promoted late night on MTV and other outlets (the ads ran while I was in college so I remember them vividly). The Church of Scientology didn’t approve and decided to kick him out of the church and make his life a living hell. He lost his business and friends since they were all Scientologists and Scientologists don’t hang with those outside of the church.

He decided to rebuild his life by selling products. Like the SlapChop and the ShamWow.

The money that he makes from these products, he is using in his fight against the Church.

There’s post here that explains this further.

// 5 things that i have seen on the first three episodes of “the wire” that i will now treat as facts.//

1. All teenage drug dealers are terrible at math and do not know how to play chess.

2. If a female police officer is good at her job, she is a lesbian.

3. Men with the last name of McNulty are insensitive alcoholics.

4. If a man named Omar is holding a rifle pointed at you, and asks you where the stash is located, be sure to tell him where it is as soon as possible or he will shoot you in the leg.

5. Baltimore strip clubs have seemingly apathetic strippers who dance to R&B and soul songs from the 1970s.*

*which makes me really want to visit a strip club in B-more.

// the power of boycott//

Apparently there is a bakery owner in Greenwich village selling cookies he is calling “Drunken Negro Face” cookies.

But on the day of the inauguration, they were called “Obama faces.”

While this leaves me horrified and speechless, I implore all current customers of the Lafayette French Pastry to no longer purchase goods from Ted Kefalinos. There are many other bakeries around the city who support our new president and people from various backgrounds. The best thing we can do is to show this person that hatred like this will not be tolerated or supported and give our money to those who accept everyone and do not bake racist caricatures of particular groups. Need alternate options? Here are a few to start with. And there are many other wonderful options around the five boroughs of New York City.

Here’s the story courtesy of Gothamist containing FOX TV footage the owner repeatedly saying the cookies are “Drunken Negro Faces” on camera.

Ted, if you come across this, deny it all you want but you are an ignorant, racist fuck. Having your sister married to a Cuban doesn’t make you not racist.

// day 1//

Today was President Barack Obama’s first day in office.

And I can’t stop thinking about how he and his wife enjoy “fisting each other”

// liveblogging (sort of) the inauguration//

Around 9:45am: Local newscaster on WPIX (Channel 11) says the crowds do not care about the cold weather and care about observing history. He is wrong, for at that moment, they care about being on television.

Around 9:55: Local television station shows President Elect Barack Obama and Michelle meet the Bushes at the White House. Regarding the 43rd president, I can’t help but think, “GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!”

10:01: Record turnout at the National Mall in DC and they have stopped letting people in. I chuckle as I sit on my couch in the clothes I slept in last night.

10:10: News is doing a segment called “Travel Like Obama”. And is pitching his mother’s homestate of KANSAS as a place to visit over the summer. I repeat, Kansas (in the summertime).

10:13: Officially tired of listening to the local newscast. What time is it? IT’S PANCAKE TIME! And time to stream CNN.com.

10:14: CNN motherfuckers are making me install some software. I want to watch CNN online NOW.

10:19: Haven’t made pancakes yet. Too busy looking at this gallery. Finally watching CNN and this dude’s name is KERWIN SWINT?

10:25: Seriously, you guys. pancake break.

10:47: Poor Dick Cheney is in a wheelchair. Pulled a muscle moving boxes. What a shame! And yes, that was sarcasm.

10:55: And there goes the motorcade. Holy shit, this is really happening!! Also, pancakes finally done.

11:03: RUTH BADER GINSBERG IN THE HOUSE!

11:05: Oh CNN, must you plug Facebook after showing RBG a minute ago?

11:08: God, there is a lot of fucking people in front of the Capitol.

11:14: GHB waddles like a duck. I can’t be the only one thinking this, right?

11:16: Is it me or the new Secretary of State always looks like she’s sucking on a lemon? Oh right, she wanted to be the 44th president but settled for a consolation cabinet position instead. My bad, sourpuss.

11:21: The Clintons come out. Have I mentioned there are a lot of fucking people out there, standing in the cold to witness this? It’s absolutely amazing.

11:24: THE OBAMA DAUGHTERS ARE SO ADORABLE!

11:27: Laura Bush just came out and said, “Hey everybody.” I have to say, it was kind of cute.

11:29: People on the mall are chanting “O-BAM-A!” This is so fucking great.

11:30: Michelle about to go out. She looks nothing short of gorgeous.

11:32: GWB about to exit. Thanks for ruining our country and the world, asshat.

11:36: CNN stream just went out as GWB was being introduced. Not upset that I missed this but I cannot miss our next president. Trying to reconnect.

11:37: Turned on the TV to WABC. HERE HE COMES BEHIND PELOSI. The man looks absolutely calm. I would be shitting myself and squealing with glee. Speaking of squealing with glee, that’s totally what I did when I saw him. I woke up the dog.

11:40: Dog is back asleep. People chanting “O-BAM-A” again. I can’t believe the National Mall is filled with people from everywhere imaginable, standing in this cold weather to be a part of this.

11:42: The horns are playing. This is totally happening.

11:43: Barack H. Obama was just introduced. He’s shaking hands and hugging people. There is a sea of people clapping, cheering and waving. I may be tearing up a little.

11:44: Senator Diane Feinstein is giving her speech. I can’t stop smiling. Ugh, she just introduced Rick Warren. Time to do something else. [I washed dishes]

11:45: Is it me or Bigot Warren said “Sasha” like Phil Hartman used to say “Sassy” in the SNL sketches?

11:52: OH SHIT. HERE COMES RERE. Turn that anthem out girl!

11:53: I won’t say anything about your hat, Aretha. Because I don’t have anything nice to say about it at all.

11:55: ABC just showed a white lady crying. Aww.

11:57: Joe Biden was just said his oath. That was quick. And according to one of the newscasters on ABC, his oath is longer than the President’s.

12:02pm: Classical music break over. John G. Roberts is about to administer the oath to Obama.

12:04: Charlie Gibson announces the white house website has changed. Will check it out in a second.

12:05: Aw he had a couple of false starts. But he is officially our 44th president.

12:06: They’re playing “Hail to the Chief”! Cannons are firing. They’re showing a town of people watching this in Kenya. And I may be tearing up again.

12:06: Feinstein introduced him as president. I clapped. Dog woke up and shot me a dirty look.

12:07: He is giving his inauguration speech.

12:09: Just checked the White House website. Hey, it’s Barry!

12:14: My ears perked up when he said he would restore science to it’s rightful place. I am hoping he’s able to keep his word about this.

12:15: “America is a friend of each nation.”

12:18: It’s refreshing to have a president who is articulate and doesn’t refer to our enemies as “evil-doers”.

12:20: Is being on “the wrong side of history” like being on “the wrong side of the tracks”?

12:23: He just said “why a man who’s father who may have not been served in a restaurant 60 years ago can stand up here and take a sacred oath.” Wonderful reminder that Jim Crow laws were in effect not too long ago and he’s being sworn in a day after Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday was observed.

12:25: Speech is over. Hallelujah, we have an articulate black man in office. Please do not fuck this up, Obama. The entire world is watching and most of us are depending on and rooting for you to do well despite the hurdles being left behind for you.

12:27: Yale professor Elizabeth Alexander is about to deliver her poem she wrote for today.

12:29: I can’t pay attention to her speech. Voice and mouth are not synching up. So distracting.

12:29: Looks like they fixed it.

12:36: Lol @ Oprah and Stedman. I’m surprised he’s there with her instead of Gayle King.

12:36: Reverend Joseph Lowery is AWESOME. Brown can stick around. Yellow can get mellow. Great end to his speech.

12:38: National anthem time.

12:40: The reason why Obama had those false starts is because John Roberts said some of it out of order. Figures. Unofficial estimate at the mall: 1.4 million people. Largest crowd ever in Washington, DC for an inauguration.

12:43: I’m done blogging this (mission accomplished!) so I’ll end with the text of Obama’s speech.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America’s decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

“Let it be told to the future world … that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive…that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it).”

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.